fashionable?
shirt: j.crew / shoes: hazmittens c/o blowfish shoes / watch: fossil /
leather cuff: destiny ray jewelry / magnolia's dress: kissy kissy
I'm not a fashionista -- but as a new mom, I have a new opinion to share of what should be on the hot fashion list... my new campaign: Breastfeeding is Fashionable.
It seems like public breast feeding has been all in the news lately -- whether it is appropriate or "gross." I rarely stick my spoon in the pot of controversy on this blog, but this time I am giving my two (short) cents. Here it goes:
Breastfeeding is natural. Breastfeeding is healthy. Breastfeeding is not a dirty word. When you deny a woman the right to feed her child, you are standing in the way of her delivering health to her child. Women don't feed their babies in public for attention. When your baby needs something, you do what you have to do -- they are the priority, not whether or not some stranger is comfortable with the situation. Yes, I do my best to be as discreet as possible. Yes, I have a nursing cover and use it when in close proximity to people. Yes, I prefer to feed my baby in private. But here is the raw of it -- I am not ashamed of my body and the beautiful way that God designed it to work. Do I consider myself a modest person? Yes. Do I believe you can be modest and breastfeed in public? Absolutely.
With that said...
These picture were not taken for the purpose of my new "Breastfeeding is Fashionable" campaign... but M was hungry & it is what ended up happening. I set off to take pictures showing off my new kicks from blowfish shoes. I'm looooving my hazmittens! So fun, so comfortable, so hip (if I do say so myself), and fit true to size. You can love you a pair too! Get them in grey or black flannel (or both!) Use code BFWILD15 for 15% off your next order!
p.s. I'm working on a "Breastfeeding is Fashionable" blog button... all you fashion and/or mommy bloggers out there, look for it soon.
Good for you, Blair! Breastfeeding is natural and healthy...so I am loving your campaign! Go you, fabulous mother!!! Looks like a fun and pretty day with your little one too!
ReplyDeleteLiesl :)
Can I just tell you how great you look for just having a baby?! Amazing! Such beautiful photos!
ReplyDeleteNot being a mom makes me a little unsure how I feel about breastfeeding in public as I think some people need a few etiquette lessons in general but I totally agree that it is a natural, normal and healthy thing! I like that you're calling it fashionable!!
Blair, you look so cute! I love the outfit!! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not a momma yet, but I really love this & couldn't agree more!
ReplyDeletelove your shoes!! and i will be joining your breastfeeding club soon hehe!!
ReplyDeleteI echo what a.g. says- you look amazing! And I love that top and those jeans on you. Cute!
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful Blair :) xoxo
ReplyDeleteGo momma! Very well put. And shown.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with this so much, it makes me sick thinking about it. Since when does "natural" make immodesty okay? A few weeks ago we were trying to enjoy our time at a local zoo. While walking through the park a women was breastfeeding, stopped and decide to switch boobs in front of us, without covering...nipples bared and all.
ReplyDeleteNatural? I don't think so.
Another time, while shopping in wal-mart with a young child with me, a woman walked past us and did the excat same thing. This time, she made sure to lift up her entire sweater (she wasn't wearing a bra).
I'm sorry, I don't want to see your breasts or your red and sore nipples.
Is is natural? Yes, but that does not give anyone the right to be indecent or immodest. Rules and regulations should be in place just as there is for other "natural" aspects of life.
Peeing is natural. Do men whip out their private to pee in front of us? What would us women do? Promptly file for indecent exposure.
Sex is natural. Is it right for couples to fall out in a public place? No.
If you want to be discreet, completely covered with and making sure there are no possibilities for "accidents". Good for you.
Otherwise, these ridiculous outcries that "breasts are natural" and "I'll proudly whip 'em out at any time to feed my child in public" is getting out of hand.
Yes, God made them. Yes, they were meant for beauty and for nurturing. But they are private parts that were intended for you and your husband only. Not the rest of us.
Another recent situation a women went to Bible study, without properly covering. She was rather noisy about it, then proceed to make jokes about her boobs in front of he small home group. Appropriate? I don't think so. But, of course she she screamed and threw a temper tantrum about her "natural right" when she was told to cover up and please be discreet. In this situation, several men in the room were very upset and embarrassed. Would it have been any more acceptable for the men to stand up and take a leak in the plant next to them? Nope.
I find it kind of odd that you explain you consider yourself a decent person, but upon clicking your Pinterest, you have a collection of women breastfeeding that are not being decent (Large boobs protruding? Could easily have been covered with a secure wrap). Proudly displaying your breasts for the world to see is not decent.
Heather,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment and your willingness to share your honest opinion with me. I appreciate it.
I don't totally disagree with you. And I apologize for giving you any wrong impressions. Let me know how i could have better explained my position --
I do NOT want ANYONE to see my breasts. I agree with you fully on this one. I do EVERYTHING possible to avoid accidents. I agree that someone do "scream" as you say about their "rights" when they are infact being disruptive.
Thank you for challenging me on the pinterest pictures. I took them down. However I don't think it is fair for you to judge my being a "decent person." True I welcome people into my life by keeping a blog like this, but I don't think it gives you a full glimpse into my life to judge me in this way.
I'm planning a follow up post on this issue.
Again, though -- i'm truly thankful for your opinion and willingness to share it.
I had to come back and say I didn't mean to come off like I was judging you...you right I don't know you at all. I was just sharing what the perception was by the pictures on Pinterest. So all my thoughts were just based on the problems that we've seen in recent months...
ReplyDeleteIt (the entire issue) just seems to be progressively out of hand these days! Sorry for such a long comment, but I think you are the first person that has ever brought it up in blog land!
Wow, that was quite the lively debate there.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for discretion. And completely get the need to feed at that moment, since the baby needs to eat. So as long as those to are done, I don't mind one bit, as I walk past you in public.
But to the woman facing the entire store at Nortstroms intentionally baring all while feeding when she could have gone 2 feet to the right into the wall facing the other way, a little class goes a long way.
Emily w/Amazing Grapes
heather,
ReplyDeletethe pictures on pinterest (for anyone who might be wondering) I have taken down. There was one up from an article in vouge. you could not see the women's nipple, but one shoulder was bear from head down to baby. Do i want to see this at the grocery, in the mall, at church... No, actually, I really don't. But the picture I think was more a piece of art -- making an argument. I did decide to take it down so as not misconstrue that I do not support being modest when breast feeding in public. thank you Heather for challenging me, i appreciate you holding me accountable to my words.
I do want to defend myself a little bit by saying I think you missed the tone of my post -- while i do think breastfeeding in public should be allowed and not scoffed at, that i do value discretion and modesty. My point is that you can have these values and breastfeed. Do all women couple modesty with breastfeeding? No. You are right. They don't. Would I prefer for them to? Yes. Will I ever tell a women to stop?... No. Her right to do it, my right to walk away. Would I ever approach a women in a loving manner and explain my concerns about her immodesty? Yes, if I knew the woman and felt it was my place.
Emily -
I agree! For example - I was at whole foods for lunch with friends. I try to time things that i can feed my baby at home. However, you can't always get the timing right (it is quite difficult actually). The eating area is open for the world to see with lots of passers by. I went into the hallway with my cover.
standing up and APPLAUDING!! You look beautiful in all the pictures - especially the ones feeding Magnolia! :) One of my greatest regrets is that I couldn't breast feed Mareto. There was nothing I could do about it of course (didn't birth him, couldn't produce milk, and he was too old to learn latching by the time we got him home) but I still wish I could have. It's so natural and such a beautiful thing! :):)
ReplyDeleteHere's the issue:
ReplyDeleteBreastfeeding is not equal to peeing.
Breastfeeding is not equal to sex.
Breasts are not just for your husband.
If someone is breastfeeding, they should be able to determine their own discretion. For some, a shirt that covers most of the breast and a baby's head are more than enough. For others, a great big nursing cover contraption and a private room work.
When you buy a dress, I'm not going to come up to you and tell you, "That dress is too short. You should be more discrete. Oh, and I don't like cleavage." Because it's YOUR perogative as to how comfortable you feel.
I don't understand why people are okay with their children seeing baby animals nursing at the zoo, or Monkeys sexing it up, or a giraffe penis hanging out, but DEAR GOD A MOTHER IS NURSING AND I JUST SAW A NIPPLE!!! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!!! Seriously?
I have much MUCH more to say on this matter, and I won't clog up Blair's post. I'll take it to my own space. But Blair, your pictures are beautiful. You are right. Nursing is natural, nothing to be ashamed of, and NOT DIRTY.
I love this article, thanks so much for writing it. I breast fed my son and will do again with another one should that time come, and while I was very private about doing it, there were times that you just couldn't be. I would love to see the looks on peoples face with a screaming baby instead of just taking the 10 minutes or so it takes to nurse the hungry baby, that would make you a "bad parent" in their eyes, with some people you just can't win. I applaud you for speaking your mind and writing. People are way to quick to judge. And it is the most natural thing. There are a lot worse things you can see in the world why care if a mother is giving her baby health and love? you have eyes, look away if you are bothered. Thanks again. Amazing courage and I loved it.
ReplyDeleteWhile there is a place for modesty while breastfeeding, I have to say...
ReplyDelete...if you don't like what you see, cover your face with a blanket.
There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding. The pictures you shared here are beautiful, discreet, and if I didn't know better, I'd say I didn't even know you were breastfeeding.
There is also, in my opinion, absolutely nothing wrong with people who choose to be indiscreet with their bodies while breastfeeding. Go to Europe. See how much they DON'T cover up. Honestly, you'd see more skin on the beach here in NJ than you would when I breastfeed my son. Mothers who give other mothers the side-eye for doing as God intended are being hurtful.
I breastfeed in public only with a cover, but to those mamas who feel secure enough to be out and proud about it, GOOD FOR YOU!!! It's MY bag that I can't do it in public...MY hangups...but there's nothing wrong with it!! And Heather, it sounds like these are your hangups too.
As for pictures of breastfeeding mamas...again...if you don't like what you see, don't look! There is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING more beautiful than the sight of a mother breastfeeding her child. You're an adult. You choose to look at what you see. No one forced you to look at anyone's pictures on pinterest. And again, Heather- your feelings are valid, but I don't know if they way you went about venting YOUR issues regarding breastfeeding was appropriate. Or kind.
Blair- thank you for this post and for sharing your pictures with us.
-Alison
Blair I love you and YOUR boobs...we had this discussion in my mother/baby class JUST yesterday! It is ridiculous how people are either just closed minded at the idea, or just lack the education at how truly wonderful it is for your child. Science can never measure up to what breast milk can provide for a baby, NEVER...everyone has boobs, get over it people.
ReplyDeleteBlair, you wrote a wonderful post. You are right, breastfeeding is not a dirty word! Thanks for standing up for the rest of us!
ReplyDeleteI second Sally's comment! Great post!
ReplyDeletei'm not a mom so i don't really have an opinion on the whole breastfeeding convo ;) as long as a woman is modest about it, i have no problem with it. and i do agree (based on convos with friends and my mom) that breast feeding is def the way to go - not only does your baby get the vitamins, he or she needs but there is a such an important bond formed there between momma and child. :)
ReplyDeletebtw you look incredible, love the shoes and the outfit!
Your pictures are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI think their is a huge misconception about breasts as simply something sexual.
But, they have 2 purposes. And how can they be compared to a penis and sex?
Last time I checked, a penis doesn't pee and feed a baby.
I would love to be a part of your breastfeeding is fashionable campaign! :)
I nursed walking down the hospital hallway (not the maternity ward) after a procedure, because we needed to get a move on, and my baby had been needing me the entire time I was trapped on a table with scans being taken. Pretty sure the screaming for an hour was more stressful to people than seeing my shoulder exposed. I also nursed in church. No one was sitting behind me. Now when the family with a teenage boy came in and sat right behind us? I went back into the back room to nurse, although it was ONLY because it was a teenage boy. I'm thinking of moving the rocking chair to the back of the room if it will fit and nursing her and rocking her at the same time, if I can manage it. I nursed in the doctor's office in front of our doctor, and our pastor's house, and made a joke about my boobs and breastfeeding in front of a handful of men, including one of our pastors. I said I'd lost more weight and that my baby sucked fat. They snickered like school boys. We are REAL people, who understand REAL life, kids, and the demands thereof. If a man is embarrassed by breastfeeding, then he has less culture than small town, midwestern farmers, pastors, doctors, and computer techs... and if he's UPSET? then wow, he really needs to get a life.
ReplyDeleteAs for breastfeeding being natural? Sure it is. Boobs are part of nature. Cows do it. Horses do it. Goats and sheep do it. Dogs, cats, and pretty much all mammals do it. Humans are mammals. Why should we be embarrassed any more than the cow out in the field? Never seen one blush!
The other commenters are right-- just because it is SOMEONE's issue doesn't mean it is this lovely lady's issue. Or that it's a greater societal issue. The REAL societal issue is that fewer women are breastfeeding or are breastfeeding shorter time periods, due in part to people like Heather trashing them (online or in person) -- and therefore, their children and their own selves are in fact at a higher risk for several diseases.
Also, penis = breast is a false statement. I would argue that breasts don't even HAVE a sexual function-- after all, you don't need breasts to a. procreate or b. have sex in general, so comparing them to a sexual use versus a feeding use is ridiculous.
Please be sure and write to all the supermodels out there, and go on EVERY teen girls page that 'displays her breasts for the world to see' -- because they do it a heck of a lot more than a mom who is just trying to feed her baby. Most swimsuits, underwear ads, and teenage girls on a first date show more cleavage than your typical breastfeeding mom.
Don't shove your own issues, or the issues of ONE person that you know onto strangers on the internet.
While I personally had a hard time feeling comfortable feeding my son in public, I am not offended in the least by moms who are. I do think discretion and modesty are important, but I don't think moms should have to feed their baby in their car or in a restroom. If she can do it in public without bearing all, then I don't see a problem. I think your photos you posted are very tasteful.
ReplyDeletefirst of all, I love that Maggie loves your boobs :) But really, I agree with you Blair! Its definitely a right {that often gets violate and individuals take overboard}. Like everything, there are people that take it to the extreme, but it in itself is a right and beautiful thing!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a complicated subject this can be. I have no problems with women nursing in public as long as they are discreet. Just as in your picture, if breastfeeding in done appropriately you can hardly tell it is being done. I do think as women of God we are to be mindful of the people around us, especially when it comes to nursing around men other than our husband.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thank you for removing the photos from Pinterest :)
"Breastfeeding is not equal to peeing."
ReplyDeleteReally, How so? It's both natural instincts that focus on private parts of our bodies.
"Breastfeeding is not equal to sex."
Again? How so? It's a natural need.
"Breasts are not just for your husband"
Um, okay? Well, mine are. They were created for just me and my husband (remember eve and adam, they were ashamed of their nakedness. Or possibly the Song of Solomon? They delight in each others bodies, not the bodies of other people)
The point isn't whether you should bf or not. It's about being modest and that rest of us in the world do NOT want to see your private parts.
Sure, you can go to other cultures where it's perfectly acceptable to walk around in your birthday suit. But, according to God's word, it does NOT make it right.
Again, it's back to the point, its your private parts here. I get enough crap standing at a grocery line check out (and yes I do turn my head or turn the magazine around). We live in a sex saturated culture. I don't condone those models anymore than I condone an indecent exposure incident.
I shouldn't have to worry about going to the zoo or the grocery store or to church because some women is brash and won't cover herself properly.
A woman who exposes herself willingly knows exactly what she is doing. She knows she is drawing the attention. If she doesn't mind that it may cause another man to stumble, then it's all about getting the wrong kind of attention and she knows it. (I am my brother's keeper)
Comparing humans to animals at the zoo...um, we aren't animals? I am a human being, created by God for the glory of God. I was also created for the enjoyment of husband and ONLY my husband. Not 10 men at the grocery store.
As for images of breast feeding. I'm glad that you enjoy it...but why? What's the purpose? For other women to view this intimate act and comment on the cuteness?
But, why pictures? There are thousands of creeps online (both men and women) who will enjoy these pictures in a disgusting manner? Do you really want to draw attention completely to your breast? What is your goal here? Is it really to promote breastfeeding? Because that can be done by simply sharing the benefits and helping young mothers. How does posting images of breastfeeding chaste and decent?
Again, it's a natural tendency to go to the bathroom. And men can do it just about anywhere, so does that give them the right to do in it public? Just because it was more convenient to do it right then and there, than to wait a minute to make it to the bathrooms?
If you are out in public, how could two minutes of seeking privacy to take care of yourself before entering public again be such an issue?
God called us to be modest, discrete and chaste. He didn't say only half the time. Or only sometimes. Our entire lives. So if we are choosing to live a Christ centered life, what's up with all the "it my boobs and I'll do what I want" mentality? Modesty is modesty plain and simple.
It just seems that it is just another part of the feminist movement...women should have more right and freedoms to express them selves.
And what in the world is up with comparing animals to humans?
And as for breasts not being sexual...again, read Song of Solomon. Read Proverbs. Read Adam and Eve.
"Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." Proverbs 5:19
Ok, I said I wouldn't but doing it any way. I agree 100% with what Faith said!
ReplyDeleteWe as women need to be mindful of men other than your husbands around you. Nursing in front of your pastor and other men is inappropriate on every level. Maybe she was completely covered (as I'm sure she was) but we don't realize how much men are visual!! And a woman baring her breasts (albeit having 1 covered with a baby's head) is not what they need to see. It can make the man, who is NOT your husband, lust. And why is a teenage boy and a grown man who's a husband to another not the same?!?
Since when did we lose our censorship, discretion and respect for other's husbands?
I don't care what Europe does, I don't live in Europe, I live in America where some still value a sense of modesty.
A baby needs to be breastfed and I'm 100% for it. I get that regardless of where you are, that baby needs to be fed, and I am fine with seeing a woman breastfeed in public. What I'm NOT fine with is her feeling its acceptable "because she's breastfeeding" to expose all for every man woman and child who walks by.
Blair, this isn't directed at you at all. I think 'breastfeeding is fashionable'! And love what YOU're going for and intended with this post.
Eeesh. First of all, way to go Blair! You're adorable!
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I have a right to eat in public so why wouldn't my baby have a right to nurse in public? I don't eat in a bathroom and I don't expect my child to either.
Also, Emmaline would throw a blanket or nursing cover acrossd the room if I tried to use one. This always brought unneccessary attention so I stopped trying to cover up and just focused on being discrete.
Finally, I secure enough in my marriage and believe in the loyalty of my husband that I'm POSITIVE that seeing another woman breastfeed would have absolutely no effect on him. If I had any doubt of this, we wouldn't be married. I would hope all women would hold their men to this standard.
Oh, and decency is completely in the eye of the beholder and depends on the circumstance (i.e. the beach versus work). Even biblical definitions of appropriateness are open to interpretation so they're really not relevant to this conversation.
These arguments are laughable.
ReplyDeleteIf we want to get all religious here, GOD created your breasts for feeding your children, too. NOT just for your husband. You can interpret the Bible a million and one ways, and just because YOU want to interpret them to mean that I can't breastfeed in public doesn't give you or anyone else the right to shove that down my throat.
There are many natural aspects of life. That doesn't mean that peeing, breastfeeding, sex and all of the above are the same. If anyone relates breastfeeding to sex, perhaps they should speak to someone about their deeply rooted issues. Breastfeeding my child is nothing like a sexual act with my husband.
It is not my responsibility to make you comfortable by being 'discrete.'
A woman who wears a burka for religious reasons would see your arm baring t-shirt as innapropriate. That doesn't mean you have to change to make her feel comfortable. Religion cannot be the base for societal laws or dictations.
If you are uncomfortable with your husband seeing a woman breastfeeding her child in public, you need to re-evaluate your relationship. I certainly do not feel even a hint of jealousy or concern. My husband is a man of morals who doesn't covet a woman for feeding her child. What a ridiculous fear and concern.
And as for my children seeing women breastfeeding? I hope to God above they do. I will teach my SONS that breastfeeding is how a mommy can feed her baby. And hopefully, someday they will grow up to be mature men who appreciate the beauty and value of breastfeeding and encourage their wives.
At the end of the day, I won't change your mind, and I don't care to. However, hopefully you'll re-evaluate your Holier than Thou attitude and realize that no matter what you believe, God wouldn't want you to shove your judgment upon mothers feeding their children. The fact that someone has actually made another woman feel bad about breastfeeding in Bible study is sad.
I have zero issues with women breastfeeding in public. I'm actually super tired of everyone complaining about seeing body parts, period. Only in America are we THIS hung up on nipples.
ReplyDeleteThere is a huge difference between a woman breastfeeding in public and a man pulling out his penis. The first is a necessity and the second serves no purpose in public except to harass/abuse or to urinate.
I think modesty has a lot more to do with attitude than actions. And the definitions of modesty are defined by a culture, not by some overarching principle. Women in certain tribes in Africa, for example, are bare-breasted in public and this is culturally okay for them to do. It is not a sign of immodesty but womanhood there.
I think there are a lot more important things for us to be upset about than whether or not we see a nursing mother's nipple once in awhile.
I love these pictures. Gorgeous!
PS: Completely agree with Mrs. Trophy Wife and have to say that if we teach children that breasts are "dirty" and that their bodies are somehow shameful and to be hidden, we are teaching them to think of this part of nature as shameful and hidden.
ReplyDeleteHow is asking questions and sharing "my point of view" shoving down someone's throat? But, I'm to accept other people's views without question? And name calling? "holier than thou" Come now, we are adults here.
ReplyDeleteEmily w/Amazing Grapes: That was exactly what I was trying to say. I can't add anything else! Loved how you worded everything.
I didn't even notice you were breastfeeding! You look fantastic for a new mom!!!
ReplyDeletethe egg out west.
The pics with your baby are my favorite. You say you may not have started out to take these shots, but I bet in 20 years the ones with your little one will be your favorite. And its beautiful! Don't cover up - be proud.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's very fair to compare feeding someone in public to sex or urinating in public. Would you want a blanket put over your head every time you had to eat? I don't think women should have to hide in a room to feed their infants. If they are comfortable whipping out their boobs in public to feed their kids, then more power to them. I don't necessarily want to see other women's boobs, but I'd much rather see that then have to listen to a little baby cry because it's starving.
ReplyDeleteI wish the American culture wasn't so tied to it's puritan roots. Maybe then we'd be more able to accept something as natural as breast feeding as an everyday occurrence that shouldn't be shunned or locked away in a small room. And maybe major American online social networking site, Facebook, wouldn't ban photos of breastfeeding.
Thank you for the post! Even if you're modest about feeding in public, the more people see of it, the more acceptable it will become.
Blair! First off, you look absolutely amazing in those pictures and I'm simply in awe of them. I honestly didn't even notice that you were breastfeeding and as I read through your blog, I wanted to applaud you for your thoughts and decisions. I wholeheartedly agree with Mrs. Trophy Wife (as well as LiLiMommy, Jill, and Elizabeth & Kyle) -- and will only add a bit of an academic perspective (my dissertation is on breastfeeding and maternal anxiety): This whole back and forth seems to be conflating the maternal breast with the sexual breast, something that we have a serious problem with in America. A breast and a penis cannot ever be compared because they serve completely different functions (Thanks to Mrs. Trophy Wife for her wonderful explanation of that). So long as we always view breasts as sexual objects first and maternal objects second, we're going to have abysmally low breastfeeding rates and rob our children of the precious nutrients that can only come from the mother's milk. Brava :)
ReplyDeleteBlair, Congratulations on your lovely daughter and on looking so fantastic in your photos. I appreciate your message and would love to be part of your campaign though I will never look as fashionable as you.
ReplyDeleteI am currently breastfeeding my second child (yes, right now as I type). She is 3.5 weeks old and when in public, I usually nurse her in a sling (more convenient for me) but otherwise I don't typically use a cover when I'm out. I'm a very modest person but I've learned to wear the right clothes and how to arrange them so people don't get flashed (at least not too much). But if I saw another woman's breast while she was nursing (and I have), I wouldn't be offended. I would be proud of her for doing something wonderful for her child.
From experience, I know that breastfeeding is sometimes very difficult (both physically and emotionally). Also, our society has tried to make formula feeding the norm with big advertising budgets and free samples pushed at hospitals. The women who get past all this and still breastfeed are awesome.
Here's a story I think of often when nursing in public: My best friend came to visit me in NYC. Her youngest daughter was with her since she was still nursing. We went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The baby was hungry and my friend started to look for a private place to sit down and nurse. There wasn't any such place in the museum so my friend chose to nurse in the gallery where they have all the paintings of bare-breasted women. Her reasoning: if the museum patrons don't find the paintings offensive, then they shouldn't be offended by her. If we can consider these paintings beautiful, then breastfeeding women are 100 times more beautiful.
Heather, I'd like to know something. Do you have children and if so, did you breastfeed?
ReplyDeletelove the pics. I am your newest follower.
ReplyDeleteblair,
ReplyDeletei thought your post was lovely, so please don't think that my comment is a protest to something you said or that anyone else did for that matter. i just want to introduce a different perspective. background: i'm a med student (thus super encouraging of the sacrifice of breast feeding mothers) and i have a baby who i am unable to breast feed because a. she has a SEVERE milk protein allergy and b. i have eczema. we tried so VERY hard but had to turn to a special formula for our joint health. this was such a blow because i believe in the benefits of breast feeding in terms of bonding, cost-saving, immunity, etc. this loss was compounded by strangers "reminding" me that "breast is best." please try to be sensitive to a mother's desire to do what is best for her child and try to be an encouragement. we mother's make some difficult choices; a little reassurance and a little less criticism can be so uplifting during our difficult moments.
I have to butt in for a second again (sorry, Blair) just to say that she never said "Breast is best." She said "Breast is natural." Which it is. There is no argument. I'm sorry you were unable to breastfeed, and I know that must have been extrememly hard to come to grips with if it was something you wanted to do...but, society needs to be reminded and encouraged that, while breast may not be the best choice for everyone, it is natural, normal, and healthy (which is all Blair was saying). Carry on.
ReplyDeletehi mrs. trophy wife,
ReplyDeletei agree with you that blair never said that "breast is best," and now see how my "please try to be sensitive" comment probably caused this confusion. (i had addressed the post to her, but was intending to address this statement to people in general-not to blair or to anyone who has posted thus far). i apologize!
i hoped to offer a friendly reminder by sharing by story that there is a considerate way to promote breast feeding which i think blair accomplished nicely (thanks blair!) and a not so nice way that can be hurtful. and i certainly think that it is worth promoting.
i just wanted to let people know that there are many reasons why mothers turn to formula, and that criticism for this can really sting when people don't know the situation. blair stated her views tactfully and i applaud her for that! sorry for the confusion; i think we are actually on the same page. :)
I totally agree, KCN. Formula is not poison, and for some mamas and babies it IS best. I think the "breast is best" slogan is hurtful to the lactivist campaign. While I truly hope every mama who can gives breastfeeding a try because I think it is a very wonderful thing if it works out, I also do not believe any mama who can't breastfeed should be made to feel guilty, whatsoever. It's unfair and unkind when women make each other feel guilty.
ReplyDeletePhotos to cherish for a lifetime. These are absolutely beautiful.
ReplyDeleteRachel
I didn't even at all notice she was feeding either until she said she was. I thought she was just holding her close. It's been some years since I've visited with Blair, but I've never in my life known her to be anything but modest and sweet.
ReplyDeleteTempting men? hmm. Yes that is possible.
I think that God sees the intentions of your heart. A man say in the middle east could see a woman covered head to toe and only her eyes peering out. He could still become overwhelmed with lust for her based on only her eyes. well maybe she has shapely brows or something sexy like that. :)
The thing is that God knows Blair's heart. He knows that he chose baby M for Blair knowing that she would nurse her. He knows that it is never her intention to share her breasts with anyone else or tempt anyone else with them.
The thought of breastfeeding in public making someone sick? That's harsh and maybe that person should really think about their own level of intolerance and judgmental nature. Was she wearing pants when she was completely grossed out by the boob? Pants are sexy. Really. They hug just all of the right places don't they?
What Blair is trying to do is give confidence to women who might otherwise give up. Breastfeeding is VERY hard in so many ways and being okay with meeting your child's needs above your own is the most important thing she can teach baby M.
When she's older she can teach her to give a woman her privacy in the event that she sees a woman who had no choice but to nurse in public.
If nursing in pubic makes you sick, seriously focus on your own tolerance of others. There is nothing sick about life giving life. At all.
well this is quite the lively debate. i'm getting a chuckle reading all these comments.
ReplyDeleteanyway, i will just say: go you!
I found this post on pinterest and I loved it. Until I started reading the comments. I also have a whole board full of breastfeeding photos. Lots of boobs everywhere! oh no! The photos of myself nursing that I plan to share on my own blog, show much more than these. And I'm happy to share such a beautiful, nurturing moment.
ReplyDeleteI hesitate to comment here.. mostly because I really dislike this kind of conversation. I just don't "get" the argument.
I'm tired of breasts being described as sexual objects. Mine only are because I allow them to be for my husband and myself. And that is the second option for them as far as mine are concerned. The very first option, is that they feed my babies.
They weren't designed to be oogled and played with by my husband. I let him do that because we both enjoy it. They were designed to lactate and feed my child. They are actually on my body for my children. Otherwise, they wouldn't be there. Woman wouldn't have breasts if we didn't breastfeed.
Sex or not.
It is absolutely not my fault if another man cannot control his lust in the few seconds my breast/nipple might be exposed. Or his imagination when I nurse under a blanket/cover. Give me a break. I will not be made to feel guilty for that.
That's like saying I should be responsible for my pedophile stepfather when he couldn't keep his filthy hands off me. After all I was 13, and lived in the same house as him. I just tempted him too much I guess. What an uncomfortable position I put him in!
It was WRONG of him then, and it's wrong for any man to project his lust towards a breastfeeding woman as HER FAULT.
And it's even worse to me that women give this as an argument.
That was probably too dramatic a statement. But these arguments make me really sad. Some of these comments really hurt my heart. But no one is worried about what might hurt or bother someone else, as long as breast aren't exposed at the same time.
It should be about context. Context is everything. Breasts for sex, yeah, keep in private. But breasts for nourishing an innocent child. Beautiful, natural and not wrong out in the world.