Pregnant? No, I just want a fritter!

I just want an apple fritter. Is that a crime? Is it not okay for a thin gal to have a craving for a decadent treat? I should be free to reveal my deepest food cravings without speculation, without worry, and without judgment. Instead, NO. I am not allowed such privileges. I can't tell a co-worker over a cup of tea that I wish someone would bring in some brownies. At almost 26 & married for 3 years your appetite & your mood apparently becomes everyone else's business. No random cravings allowed & no sudden changes in mood because before you know it, your mom has called because she heard you were pregnant from her neighbor who heard it from your co-worker's auntie.

Yes, I would like to have children. Yes, I have been married for 3 years. But, NO -- I am not preggers. Please, world, let me be. I've tried to take it as a compliment that people care & are excited to have more Blairs in the world, but I would love some peace and respect.

Oh, and if you too are in my situation, you know that you can never refuse a drink. And if you DO refuse once, make sure not to do it again the next time you see the same folks. That too is a public statement that you of course must be pregnant.

And it goes without saying that you should never come into work feeling a wee bit sick or tired and then feel better that afternoon. Duh--that has morning sickness written all over it. So either come in sick and stay sick the rest of the day or come in full of smiles and giggles. There just is no rest for the married-26-year-old-non-baby-mamma.

So friends, family, co-workers, minor acquaintances, & strangers alike, please do not ask me if I am pregnant. Whenever I am, it will be mine to tell & not yours to ask.

Thank you. That is all.

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